Do I Have to Pose for Wedding Photos?

I actually do pose my couples. Probably much less than you’d expect—but also much more intentionally than you’d expect.

Here’s the thing: The wedding industry, the photos you’ve seen online, and the Pinterest boards you’ve spent months curating all quietly teach us the same lesson: that the “perfect wedding” is something you achieve by looking a certain way.

Your idea of wedding-day beauty has largely been shaped by an algorithm designed to keep you scrolling, clicking, buying, and comparing. Most of what you’re seeing isn’t even real couples—it’s carefully styled shoots with professional models, perfect lighting, and zero emotional stakes.

But your wedding isn’t an expensive photoshoot and you’re not there to perform being a bride or groom. You’re there to live being a bride or groom.

So let me ask you something.

Picture the two of you on your favorite date.

You’re laughing over dinner, walking through a city, sitting on the beach, making breakfast together—whatever feels most like you. Do you ever stop and ask yourself, “Wait…what should I do with my hands?” Or do they naturally find each other?

Do you pause to angle your chin, suck in your cheeks like Zoolander, and wonder whether your partner is seeing your best side? Of course not. You’re too busy enjoying each other.

That’s exactly the feeling I want your wedding photographs to preserve. Your wedding day isn’t a performance. It’s another chapter in the life you’ve already built together. And it’s the life you’ve already built together that’s the most beautiful part of your wedding day.

So what does that actually look like when we’re taking portraits?

Instead of asking you to smile and tilt your chin just a little to the left, I might ask your partner to whisper something in your ear that only the two of you would understand.

Instead of reminding you to relax your shoulders, I might ask you to close your eyes, take a deep breath, and notice what you can hear, smell, and feel around you.

The goal isn’t simply to create the appearance of relaxation. It’s to help you actually relax, because when your body settles, your photographs change too. I don’t want to photograph a version of you that’s performing. I want to photograph you—as gloriously as you actually are and truth be told, my version of perfection is getting the subject of you captured as you really are.

Some of my favorite photographs have come from moments that were barely directed at all.

Bride shot dramatically in black and white looking over her shoulder as her gown falls to the ground around her.

Julia had just reached the top of the church steps when I called her name.

She turned around with nothing more than a look of quiet curiosity. I knew The Cathedral of the Incarnation arches above her would frame the image beautifully.

No posing. No performing. Just her.

Couple walks together as they enjoy alone time on their wedding day without posing for the camera.

Yael and Marshall were walking down a tree-lined lane at The Eden Estate.

I casually told them, “Hang on, I have to fix something.”

There was absolutely nothing to fix, I simply wanted them to forget about me for thirty seconds. As they waited, they started talking, laughing, and reaching for each other’s hands without thinking.

That’s the photograph. Not because I created the moment but because I created space for the moment.

Couple candidly dashes across a field, her in a white gown and him in a black tuxedo.

I wanted to capture the movement of Megan and Benjamin’s wedding attire without asking for the classic twirl prompt so I simply asked them to walk together across Allenbrooke Farms.

As they moved, I intentionally framed the photograph so only their bodies remained in the frame.

No faces. No smiles directed at the camera. Just movement. Just connection.

It became one of our favorite images from the entire day.

This is what documentary wedding photography means to me–it isn’t the absence of direction, it’s the presence of trust. If I create the right environment, you don’t have to become someone else for the camera, you simply have to become more fully yourselves.

Good posing tells people where to stand. Great documentary photography gives people permission to forget the camera altogether. I’m not looking for the perfect pose, I’m looking for permission to photograph the people you already are.

You’re wanting more, aren’t you?

Don’t Take My Word For It: