If you’re reading this, there’s a good chance you’re staring at your wedding timeline wondering how on earth everything is supposed to fit into one day. More importantly, you’re probably hoping your wedding feels intentional, authentic, and like the two of you—not like a performance with a really pretty seating chart. Before I even get started, know that there are wedding coordinators out there who EXCEL in creating organic days. I will link my favorite below.
After photographing hundreds of weddings, you know what I’ve never heard a couple say?
“Haley… we just wish we’d spent twenty more minutes taking family formals.”
Not once.
What I have heard is this:
“I wish we’d spent more time together.”
“Dinner went by so fast.”
“I can hardly remember anything about the day. Was I even there?”
“We totally missed our cocktail hour.”
Most wedding timelines take the conveyor belt approach, asking one question:
“How do we fit everything into one day?”
I think there’s a much better question:
“How do we protect what matters most from getting squeezed out?”
A great timeline doesn’t protect logistics. It protects experiences.
Can you imagine seeing your sweet grandma for the first time on your wedding day?
She tears up.
You do too.
And then your coordinator or photographer interrupts the moment because you’re already two minutes behind schedule.
Or imagine sharing your private vows—full of promises, relief, tears, and smiles—when all of a sudden someone cuts in because it’s time for bridal party photos.
I mean…
Ewe.
Those are the moments your wedding day is actually made of. My goal isn’t simply to photograph those moments, it’s to protect enough space that they get to happen in the first place.
So how do we pace a wedding day that actually leaves room for real life?
Simple.
Don’t schedule every moment.
Leave breathing room. Leave dancing room (like this bride on her wedding day at Riverwood Mansion).Leave white space. Leave room for life to surprise you. Some of the most meaningful moments on a wedding day happen precisely because nobody planned them.
A conversation runs long.
Your grandfather tells a story you’ve never heard before.
Your best friend grabs your hand and pulls you onto the dance floor.
You find yourselves laughing in a hallway while nobody is looking.
I subscribe to the “Let Them” philosophy and quietly stalk those kinds of moments with my camera because those are the photographs you connected with when you found my work. And they’re the photographs you’ll treasure twenty years from now.
Protect Cocktail Hour
Is there anything worse than missing your own party?
No.
No there isn’t.
Cocktail hour isn’t just hors d’oeuvres and Prosecco.
It’s the reunion.
It’s where Brad from college, Bob from work, and Janet—the sweet woman who lived next door when you were growing up—suddenly find themselves laughing together like they’ve known each other forever.
It’s where your guests loosen up, where stories get shared. It’s where your worlds collide in the most beautiful way. It’s also where the two of you get to linger together with the people you love.
That’s what throwing a wedding is actually about.
Schedule Dinner Like You Actually Want to Eat
I’m going to keep this short.
Hungry people are not happy people, and unhappy people do not photograph particularly well. (This might be one of my least glamorous wedding tips, but it may also be one of the most important.)
Maybe the two of you sneak away for twenty quiet minutes to actually eat.
Maybe you sit at a table surrounded by your closest friends and soak in the conversation.
Whatever the plan…
Eat.
Drink water.
Sit down.
Your future self will thank you.
Let Your Photographer Work Around Your Wedding Day
Not the other way around.
I realize this isn’t how every photographer works, but I believe your wedding day shouldn’t revolve around photography.
I want photography to revolve around your wedding day.
I want to see the real version of you: your happiest laugh, your tears, the way you two instinctively reach for each other’s hand, the way your shoulders finally relax after your ceremony.
Those aren’t emotions that can be posed.
They’re experienced.
And that’s exactly where I want you to be.
Your Timeline Should Reflect Your Values
Let me say that again: Your wedding timeline should reflect your values.
Not Pinterest’s values.
Not your sister’s wedding.
Not tradition’s.
Yours.
You two love dancing? Protect dancing.
You both love family? Protect conversations.
Do you love your grandparents? Build in time to connect with them.
Want to disappear for sunset and use portraits as a chance to breathe together?
Perfect. Do it.
Love a champagne tower?
Wonderful.
Don’t?
Wonderful.
If your timeline doesn’t reflect your values… whose values is it reflecting?
The best wedding timelines aren’t remembered because they stayed on schedule, they’re hardly remembered at all because they quietly disappeared into the joy of the day. Instead, time became a tool.
A tool to stretch out a hug.
To laugh a little longer than expected.
To introduce your now-single childhood neighbor Janet to your single CEO, Bob. (To be clear…if they hit it off, I expect an invitation.)
To linger. To breathe. To actually be there.
Your timeline isn’t just a schedule, it’s permission.
Permission to slow down.
Permission to hug your grandmother before someone checks the clock.
Permission to finish your vows without worrying about what’s next.
Permission to eat.
To breathe.
To laugh.
To cry.
To linger.
To attend your own wedding.
Because twenty years from now, you probably won’t remember exactly what time dinner started, but you’ll remember the way your partner squeezed your hand.
You’ll remember the tears.
The laughter.
The hugs that lasted just a little longer than expected.
And if that’s what your timeline protected, I’d say it did exactly what it was supposed to do.
Haley’s Perspective
After photographing hundreds of weddings, I’ve become convinced that the best timelines aren’t the ones that stay perfectly on schedule—they’re the ones that quietly disappear into the background. A great timeline should support your wedding, not control it. My job isn’t to rush you from one moment to the next. It’s to help create enough breathing room that your wedding has space to become a real memory instead of a checklist.
And, speaking of checklists…
Timeline Audit
Does your timeline include…
☐ Time alone after the ceremony
☐ Time to eat dinner
☐ Time with guests
☐ Buffer time
☐ Time with parents
☐ Time with grandparents
☐ A realistic getting-ready schedule
☐ Time to breathe
☐ Sunset portraits (if YOU want them)
☐ Five completely unscheduled minutes
FAQS:
How long should wedding photos take?
When we talk about “wedding photo’s” we are usually asking about couples portraits, bridal party photos and family portraits. I like to bake these photos into the day. If the two of you are having a first look, I will usually include 20 minutes of couples portraits and individual portraits here. If your day has a cocktail hour, I will usually include an organic take on familyy portraits here. The goal is to keep “scheduled photo time” to a minimum and maximize your time connecting with the people you love.
How much buffer time should a wedding timeline include?
I love several buffers placed throughout the day! Your coordinator and I often create a timeline that serves the two of you well, typically 30 minutes prior to the ceremony we love to give you space to breathe. 10 minutes immediately following the ceremony we love to allow the two of you and your bridal party a chance to celebrate. We add time during dinner or around sunset to pull away and connect if that feels right. The goal is for you to have the kind of day that allows you to soak in the friends and family who showed up for you.
How much time should family photos take?
I like to encourage “formal family photos” to be limited to your nuclear family. Again, I fold in family photos to the parts of the day where you are actually seeing your family so that the family shot list is less taxing on you. That being said, we can usually take all family photos in a 30 minute time span.
Should we leave cocktail hour for portraits?
In short: no. But, if you have to miss the first half of cocktail hour, walking into a space full of people on their first or second drink isn’t a bad way to enter.
How long should sunset photos last?
Sunset photos are stunning and if they are important to you, they are important to me. It only takes is 20 minutes to dash outside, and laugh together as the sun goes down for me to capture some stunning stress-free moments of the two of you.
How do we make our wedding day less stressful?
You keep the main thing the main thing. You know your priorities ahead of time and you let those priorities lead you on your wedding day. Lean into what means something to the two of you, and let me do the rest.
If you loved this, you’ll also love…
How to Prioritize Togetherness on Your Wedding Day
Why I Wrote a Letter to the People Who Love You Most
PosingWhy You Don’t Need to Pose on Your Wedding Day
Wedding Shouldn’t Revolve Around Photos
What I’ve Noticed About Couples Who Deeply Enjoyed Their Wedding Day
Ready for More?
Planning a Wedding Timeline: How to Prepare Throughout the Planning Process – by Blake Bakkila for Carats + Cake
