I think a lot while I’m photographing. Time slows down a little. I detach from the bustle around me, focus on my breathing, and quietly settle into observation mode.
The other day, while photographing a father seeing his daughter for the first time on her wedding day, I was struck by an unexpected thought:
I don’t think parents cry because their child is getting married.
I think they cry because they suddenly realize time has passed.
The way your mom reaches up to smooth your hair one last time. The way your dad nervously straightens his tie before walking toward you. The way they pause just a little longer before wrapping you in a hug. These tiny moments are really small summaries of an entire lifetime together and it’s worth remembering that your wedding day isn’t only emotional for the two of you. It’s emotional for them, too.
The truth is that how you include your parents on your wedding day matters. While they don’t necessarily need a bigger role (whose wedding is this, after all??!) they need a meaningful one. We’re not talking about adding another tradition simply because weddings are “supposed” to have one. We’re talking about intentionality.
Pause for just a second and ask yourself this:
Who are your parents?
Who are they to you?
What have they done over the years that has made you feel deeply loved?
Now flip the question around.
What could you do that would make them feel loved on this day?
Maybe your dad has always loved breakfast, and starting the morning together over pancakes and a strong cuppa Joe means more to him than a father’s first look ever could.
Maybe your mom has spent years tending her garden, and dedicating your bouquet to her during a toast would speak volumes.
Maybe your parents absolutely hate being the center of attention. In that case, maybe the most meaningful thing you could give them is a handwritten letter like Sammy did while celebrating her wedding at The Cordelle. We created space in her timeline for a quiet conversation, savoring a few uninterrupted minutes together before the celebration began.
The point isn’t to copy someone else’s traditions. The point is to honor the people who raised you in a way that feels true to your relationship.
The beautiful thing about intentional moments is that they do two things at once. First, they make your parents feel seen. Second, they create the kinds of photographs you’ll treasure for the rest of your life like Maggie and her father experienced before her wedding at 14Tenn.
I lost my dad to ALS in June of 2025 and because of that, this subject sits especially close to my heart. Losing him changed the way I photograph parents at weddings. It changed the way I notice them. It changed the way I photograph hugs that linger just a little longer than expected. I now understand something I couldn’t fully understand before.
Sometimes the photographs we have of the people we love become one of the greatest gifts we’re left with.
Our parents—yours and mine—are wonderfully imperfect people doing their best to love us through every season of our lives.
Maybe one of the most beautiful things you can do on your wedding day is create space to love them well, too.
As a documentary photographer, I absolutely love watching parents become part of the story. But honestly? It usually isn’t during the obvious moments. For example, it isn’t necessarily when your dad walks you down the aisle. It’s when he quietly adjusts his tie because he’s trying to steady himself before seeing you. It’s your parents hugging anyone within arm’s reach after the ceremony because they simply can’t contain their joy. It’s the way they sit back during dinner and watch you laugh with your new spouse. It’s the look they exchange with each other when they realize they’ve just witnessed their child step into a brand-new chapter of life.
Those are the moments I find myself reaching for with my camera because those moments can’t be posed.
They can only be lived.
After losing my dad, I realized something I never expected: the photographs I have of him don’t simply remind me what he looked like. They remind me how he loved me. His smile, his posture, the way he looked at me, the way he wrapped me in a hug, the fact that he actually did have hair at one point in time.
Those photographs have become reminders of love.
And that’s exactly what I hope your wedding photographs become, too.
Not simply reminders of what your parents looked like…
But reminders of how they loved you.
Maybe you want to read more…
Why You Don’t Need to Pose on Your Wedding Day
What I’ve Noticed About Couples Who Deeply Enjoyed Their Wedding Day
How to Prioritize Togetherness on Your Wedding Day
How to Create a Wedding Timeline That Actually Lets You Experience Your Wedding Day
Why I Wrote a Letter to the People Who Love You Most
Let’s Explore More:
10 Ways That Memory Sustains Relationships – by Robert N. Kraft Ph.D at Psychology Today
Being Present and Building Meaningful Connections – by Memorial Hermann
