One of my favorite things about discovery calls (or “Disco Calls,” as I more happily call them -> 🪩 ☎️) is that they almost always begin the same way.
“We’ve never done this before.”
Of course you haven’t.
Most people have never hired a wedding photographer before, and choosing the best wedding photographer for your wedding isn’t at all like choosing what you want for dinner, this week’s nail color, or your winning fantasy football team.
For starters, asking yourself the right questions matters.
I’m not talking about the basics: How many hours do we need a photographer for? What’s our budget? While those things matter, the wedding industry has made it really easy to compare photographers based on things that don’t necessarily determine whether you’ll actually love your experience.
You need to understand the experience you want so that you can navigate finding the photographer who can help create it.
So today, I thought I’d tell you the questions I’d contemplate if I were in your shoes—because whether you hire me or not, there is some secret sauce that goes into how you experience your wedding day when it comes to photography, and I’ve never been one to gatekeep.
1. How Do You Want Your Wedding to Feel?
My guess is that you’ve been scrolling.
Pinterest and Instagram have some VIBES, and some of the wedding images you’ve seen have stopped you dead in your tracks. They’ve created a sense of delight and maybe even a little FOMO.
You want your wedding day photos to look like those: candid, genuine, wild, unposed and perfect.
You want them to look, look, look.
But do you know what made you stop and really see them?
How those photos made you feel.
When you look at art (and yes, I’m an artist, so I’m going to talk to you from an artist’s perspective), it makes you feel something. What you need to answer is not:
“How do I want my wedding photos to look?”
but actually:
“How do I want my wedding photos to feel?”
Huge.
Distinction.
It’s very likely that you want wedding photos that feel connected. You want a sense of togetherness captured. You want to feel the freedom and presence of that day for years to come.
If I were you, I’d take your partner on a date. Not an expensive one, but one that interrupts your usual life. Go on a picnic, visit a space the two of you love, or do whatever feels like you. Bring something to write on and start dreaming together. Ask yourselves how you want your wedding day to feel. Then, start prioritizing that feeling. Make your decisions around that feeling. That one exercise can change the way you plan an entire wedding.
Do you need more inspo on this topic:
How to Prioritize Togetherness On Your Wedding Day
How to Create a Wedding Timeline that Actually Lets You Experience Your Wedding Day
What I’ve Noticed about Couples Who Deeply Enjoyed Their Wedding Day
2. Do You Like This Photographer’s Work—or Their Editing Style? Or Both?
This question has some nuance around it, but there are two main artistic elements you’re noticing when you look at a photograph: the way it’s edited and the photography style used to tell the story.
When you’re choosing the best wedding photographer for your day, you want to know what style of art that photographer is leaning into.
I tell stories from a documentary perspective, championing a more candid wedding photography approach to moments that happened because I didn’t interfere with the day.
I mix that style with a very classic editing approach and use a lot of film in my work to create a timeless and cohesive look, whether I’m shooting digital photography, film photography or videography.
Knowing what you’re looking at—and why that style speaks to you—plays a huge role in successfully choosing a photographer. At the end of the day, you’re hiring an artist to create art from their perspective. Liking their perspective matters.
Maybe you want to dive in a little deeper:
3. Can You Imagine Spending 10 Hours With This Person?
And I’m being so for real right now. You aren’t hiring a cool portfolio. You’re hiring a human to shoot this wedding day, and how they make you feel actually DOES matter.
Can you imagine trying to have your best day ever around a totally insensitive jerk behind a camera? And PAYING for that experience? Hard no, my friend. Your wedding photographer’s personality matters.
So, how does that human make you feel?
Do they regulate the room?
Do they regulate themselves?
Do they create calm?
Do you feel seen by them?
Truth be told, during my Disco Calls, I am gathering a lot of information to help me decide if I want to move forward with a couple, and as silly as it sounds, “vibe check” is one thing I’m listening for. If I don’t feel like we’d be a good fit, or like my passion doesn’t align with a couple’s needs, that’s okay. My goal is to take care of that couple, even if that means sending them to someone who might be better fitted. Their experience on their wedding day is more important to me than booking clients who might not be the right fit.
4. What Happens When Things Go Wrong?
I often ask a question around how a couple experiences and reacts to stress during my Disco Calls. It always throws the couple off and I always pay attention.
The truth is, it’s rare for a wedding day to experience zero issues. Professionally, I thrive in—and actually look for—the spaces that didn’t go “right,” because that’s where I find a lot of true human emotion. I’ve caught bridesmaids creating full dance routines using umbrellas during a rain delay. I’ve photographed a groom and his father with their arms around each other while sharing an umbrella during a thunderstorm. I’ve snapped shots of entire wedding parties walking across spaces together while taking a detour, which ended up being some of their favorite photos. Those moments shape the photographs that make your wedding day uniquely yours and create space for the real you to shine through.
How you roll with the stress of change is up to you. But your photographer’s ability to stay calm, adapt and keep photographing the day as it actually unfolds matters, too.
There’s more to read here:
Why Rain Isn’t a Big Deal (A Rainy Day Manifesto)
How to Handle Tricky Family Dynamics on Your Wedding Day (Without Losing Yourself)
5. Does Their Philosophy Match Yours?
Some wedding photographers love, love, love posing their clients. They fall into the traditional/classic photography style, and I’m really good friends with several of them. They are in an art bracket of their own. Their clients expect to spend three or four hours of their wedding day minimum posing for the camera with their bridal parties, families and spouses. The posed photos of the day represent the day for those photographers and their clients alike.
And that’s the point: their approach isn’t wrong. It’s simply different.
If you want beautifully composed, intentionally posed photographs and you’re happy to spend a significant portion of your wedding day creating them, a photographer who specializes in that style might be exactly what you’re looking for.
The question is whether the way your photographer works allows you to have the kind of wedding day you actually want to have.
Other photographers love fashion—many even come from the fashion world and simply won’t shoot weddings that don’t include name brands or the promise of being featured in fashion spaces. The editorial/high-fashion space makes fashion the goal, and a wedding day becomes the means to achieve that goal. And honestly? I love it. Some of my work is inspired by this space because it’s stunning and sexy, and who doesn’t love stunning and sexy??
Still, other photographers are focused on a light/airy approach to editing, while others create a dark/moody style. Both of these styles represent a strong artistic vision, consistent with the look and body of work they’re creating. Neither of them is better or worse than the next. Neither is right or wrong. They’re just different.
Some photographers lean into a documentary approach while also shooting compositions that excite them.
I fall into this category.
While I have all the tools in my tool belt to coach posing when needed, much of my work is to emphasize what actually, authentically happened on your wedding day by not producing it. I read the room and use my understanding of human interaction to anticipate and capture the feelings of my clients and their families. I also can’t help but bring an artistic eye to those moments, because documentary doesn’t mean careless or passive. It means I’m looking for the composition, light, movement, emotion and tiny human interactions that turn a real moment into a photograph you’ll want to keep forever.
None of these styles are “right,” and none of them are “wrong.”
They’re just different.
Spend time sorting through what style you connect with from a visual standpoint so that when you hire a photographer, you’re able to lean your full weight into being yourself on your wedding day because you trust their vision.
For more on wedding photographer philosophy, read this:
6. What Do Past Couples Say?
How a photographer’s past clients speak about that photographer says volumes—especially when you’re paying attention to what they’re actually saying.
Here’s an example:
“Haley kept us on time, took all the pictures we hoped for and made us laugh. Hire her!!”
— Fake Client 😂
Now, here’s an actual review from real clients:
“Documentary Meets ART – I was VERY particular about the photography for the wedding. In my mind, the photography IS the wedding; it’s how you continue to relive the wedding in the days, months, years afterwards. The photos remind you what the day was and they end up becoming the memories themselves. And so it was truly important to me that the photos get as close to the real day as possible. That the feelings, the mood, the vibe of the day (the soul and tenor of each person) be captured authentically so that when I look back at those photos to remember I will be remembering how it REALLY was. I knew that if I had photos that authentic, that my wedding day would never really end. And Haley gave me that. She saw me, saw my husband, saw my family, and captured our truest selves on digital and film so that when the years have passed, and even further than that, when loved ones have passed on, we will always remember their souls clearly captured in these photos. It is the greatest gift a photographer can give you and it is a gift I am eternally grateful to Haley for. Hire Haley. Your future self will be forever grateful.”
— Mika + Fernando, real clients from spring 2026
Read your photographer’s reviews with a specific question in mind:
Do their past clients sound like people who had the experience you want to have?
Because pretty photographs are one thing but feeling taken care of while someone takes them is another.
7. What Kinds of Questions Do They Ask You?
From the very moment my clients fill out inquiry forms, I am digging into the meat and potatoes of who they are as humans because I believe that my role at their wedding and in their lives is relational, not transactional.
The photos I take are most successful if they accurately reflect what happened on their wedding day, so getting to know my clients as humans is deeply important to me. Not all photographers feel the same way or keep their clients at the center of their work.
Pay attention to how you feel after talking to them, reading their website or interacting with their Instagram. Were they sharing their values? Concerned with relationship? Communicating their mindset? Or were they more interested in discussing timelines, venues and budgets?
The kinds of questions they ask can make you feel like you’re having just another sales conversation—or they can make you feel seen, calmer and understood. And that feeling matters because if you’re going to spend ten hours with someone on one of the most emotionally significant days of your life, you should probably like the person standing behind the camera.
The Best Wedding Photographer Isn’t Necessarily the Best Photographer
The best wedding photographer isn’t the most expensive.
Or the most followed.
Or the trendiest.
It’s the one who helps you become more yourself.
Because twenty years from now…
You won’t remember your photographer’s Instagram feed. You’ll remember how they made you feel and you’ll see that feeling in the photographs.
That’s the photographer I want you to find. And if that happens to be me? Well, I’d really love to meet you on a Disco Call.
